The Memorial Service for Dawn will be held at Crossroads Church on Easter Sunday (April 12) afternoon at 1:00.
We as a family will be providing and serving a light lunch beginning at 11:30 a.m. We are choosing to do this in lieu of visitation prior to the service. This lunch will enable us to be with you as we share this time of celebration of God’s grace in Dawn’s life.
Traditional visitation will also be held at Crossroads Church on Saturday, April 11, from 3:00-7:00 p.m.
Crossroads Church is located at 3815 S. Dutch Mill Rd., Madison WI 53718.
In lieu of flowers we ask that you consider a donation in Dawn’s memory to one of the following wonderful organizations:
Crossroads Church
3815 S. Dutch Mill Rd
Madison WI 53718
ALS Association
Development Dept.
27001 Agoura Road
Suite 250
Calabasas Hills, CA 91301
888.949.2577
http://www.alsa.org/donate/
Hospice of Dane County
5395 E. Cheryl Parkway
Madison WI 53711
608.276.4660
https://www.hospicecareinc.com/donation_form.asp?fldID=56
We recognize that for many Easter Sunday is a day spent with family, and we understand that some of you will not be able to share with us on this day because of these prior plans. In our deliberations we had to come to grips with needs of our immediate family, but more importantly, given Mom's love of music and her desire to celebrate Jesus Christ, Easter seemed the appropriate day. We look forward to sharing this time with any who can join us, and can appreciate those of you who would love to but can not because of family commitments. We know that we will continue to be remembered in your prayers, and we deeply value this.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Memories (sometimes called Obituaries)
Some of you who read this blog do not know Mom so we wanted to present some basic facts as well as some memories that get at some of Mom’s character.
Mom was born April 24, 1953 in Grand Rapids, MI while her dad (A. Paul Veenstra) was a seminarian student at Calvin Theological Seminary. She was the first born of Paul and Kathy (Soetenga) Veenstra, and would have three siblings join the family in later years - Randall (Debra) Veenstra, Nancy (Jerry) Wissing – also known as her favorite sister, and Daniel (Lori) Veenstra.
Most of her childhood was spent in Chula Vista, CA, which became a wonderful place to vacation in later years for our family as we spent extended time with grandparents, aunts & uncles, and cousins.
She and Dad met in the bookstore while attending Calvin College. Although they have given us some of these details, we are sure they have not told us everything. They were married on August 15, 1975, and were blessed (Mom’s word) with children within 13 months of marriage. The six of us came in regular succession (two years separating each of us), and in the following order: Jennifer Dawn (AJ) Menefee, Julie Nicole (Joel) VandenBrand, Jillaine Kathryn, Jodi Lyn (Jeremy) Klyn, Jaquelyn Beth, and Jacob Douglas. In later years, she was thrilled with a second chance at (grand)motherhood with the births of Tyler, Eli and Isaac VandenBrand, Declan Klyn, and Quint (Avery John V) Menefee.
Mom was first and foremost a mother, and this mother’s heart extended to all ever considered a friend of one of her children. Her house was an open house. If any friend of her children needed a place to crash, a meal before a game, a place to invite friends, her home was fair game. Even more than her home, she desired to be a mother to all who came under her roof. Phrases we have heard many times since her diagnosis with ALS include the following: “I’ve always considered myself a VanEssen,” or “She was my second mother.” Perhaps one of the saddest days in her life was when her last child left for college.
Her second love was music. God blessed her with a beautiful voice, and she began to use it early in life. She was a part of a singing group in her church in Chula Vista. She continued this use of her gift for music until late 2007 when the ALS began to affect her voice in such a way that she could no longer sing. This presented her with a spiritual dilemma – how could God take this great love away from her? A highlight in her spiritual life was when she would say to the one she served, “God, if you take away even my voice I will serve and love you!” Little did she realize that within 9 months her voice would be gone. Those of you who have followed this blog know that this did not deter her love for Jesus.
In the years after her last child left for college, she struggled with her identity. However, within the latter years came to realize that God was providing wonderful opportunities for her care expressed through mothering to continue to serve Jesus. She began working with the Little Lambs ministry (for pre-school aged children) at Crossroads, and later began working with infants at LaPetite Academy (a childcare provider). Through these God continued to develop compassion within her that extended far beyond her own family.
We, her children, find ourselves overwhelmed with the gift of learning from our mother, and God continues to extend her legacy through us as we raise our children, care for other’s children, and serve in other ways. God gave us a mother of care and love so that we can be those who care and love. For this we will always be grateful, and we cherish those of you who have been touched by her love, often expressed in that wonderful welcoming smile.
We know that even though our mother’s life on this earth ended on Thursday, April 2, 2009, the impact on others continues because she touched and changed us by God’s grace.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Other Items
Please watch this blog for schedules of visitation, memorials and services. We will update as plans and decisions are made.
An Early Easter
Easter came early for Dawn this year. She died about 8:30 p.m. tonight (April 2). We took her home from Hospice at noon because her wishes were to be with her family at home when she died. The next 8 hours were a mixed bag - some peaceful and filled with smiles as children and grandchildren spent time with her. Other hours were struggles and pain. She died with her family surrounding her and encouraging her in her last few steps, painful as they might have been. As she so often tucked her children into bed, and sat with them as they wrestled with sleep, her children surrounded her in her struggle with this final sleep, tucking her safely so that she would be awaken by the loving and strong arms of Jesus, the one she lived for and loved.
As much as I wanted her to be finished with the battle, I never imagined in my darkest nights that it was this hard to let go. Therefore, I continue to wait for Easter with all its power and transformation. Like the Marys and the disciples I do not know how to get through the darkness of Friday. But I know the hope of the coming Sunrise on Easter when all God's children will awake to the smile of their eldest brother Jesus.
In the mean time, I remain with you in the safe hands of The Strong One who is the Resurrection and the Life.
Your presence (even when distance separates) is appreciated as are your prayers!
Pastor Doug, Jennifer, Julie, Jillaine, Jodi, Jacque, Jacob along with all those who make our lives joyful and hopeful. AJ, Joel, Jeremy, Tyler, Eli, Isaac, Declan, and Quint.
As much as I wanted her to be finished with the battle, I never imagined in my darkest nights that it was this hard to let go. Therefore, I continue to wait for Easter with all its power and transformation. Like the Marys and the disciples I do not know how to get through the darkness of Friday. But I know the hope of the coming Sunrise on Easter when all God's children will awake to the smile of their eldest brother Jesus.
In the mean time, I remain with you in the safe hands of The Strong One who is the Resurrection and the Life.
Your presence (even when distance separates) is appreciated as are your prayers!
Pastor Doug, Jennifer, Julie, Jillaine, Jodi, Jacque, Jacob along with all those who make our lives joyful and hopeful. AJ, Joel, Jeremy, Tyler, Eli, Isaac, Declan, and Quint.
The Continued Journey
It is almost 6:00am, Thursday April 2. All the kids are home - in Madison. We called them here because we thought last evening would be a last with mom. Yesterday, April 1, we made the decision to come to the inpatient unit here at Hospice. Mom was having terrible difficulty breathing. The last few days have been a real struggle for her. Upon consultation with medical personnel we admitted her here to try and get some control over the breathing issue.
Within an hour of arriving Mom took a sharp turn downward. Her breathing became very shallow, and it was obvious that she was struggling to exhale the CO2 in her body. Upon advice we called the kids home.
It was about 1 am before we all were gathered around her bed. We all had opportunity to tell her again that we loved her, that we did not want her to go, but also did not want her to have to suffer any more. She really did not respond to any of this. However, this morning at 6 she opened her eyes and smiled. She shook her head "no" when we asked her if she remembered the kids being here last night. But smiled when Jacque and Jill walked into her line of sight. She is responding to Jacque's questions and has just motioned to her that she loves her too.
We don't know how long this will last. The Dr. said he believes she has pneumonia and believes that life will only be a matter of days yet. Mom's mother and sister will be in-flight by noon, and we hope they are able to see her yet this side of heaven.
Thank you for your continued prayers.
Within an hour of arriving Mom took a sharp turn downward. Her breathing became very shallow, and it was obvious that she was struggling to exhale the CO2 in her body. Upon advice we called the kids home.
It was about 1 am before we all were gathered around her bed. We all had opportunity to tell her again that we loved her, that we did not want her to go, but also did not want her to have to suffer any more. She really did not respond to any of this. However, this morning at 6 she opened her eyes and smiled. She shook her head "no" when we asked her if she remembered the kids being here last night. But smiled when Jacque and Jill walked into her line of sight. She is responding to Jacque's questions and has just motioned to her that she loves her too.
We don't know how long this will last. The Dr. said he believes she has pneumonia and believes that life will only be a matter of days yet. Mom's mother and sister will be in-flight by noon, and we hope they are able to see her yet this side of heaven.
Thank you for your continued prayers.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
More Devices
It is with continued disappointment that we report a couple more evidences of decline. In our last blog we noted that Dawn was having breathing problems. After discussing this with Hospice oxygen was brought in. Dawn is now using this at various times in the day, as well as at night when she sleeps. This has seemed to help make things a little easier for her breathing.
We are thankful for this, but one more 'device' sitting in the house is a reminder of the steady decline. We can chart the downward progression by recalling the addition of devices. It began with canes, moved to walkers, then wheelchairs. Dawn needed a speech device. We brought in a food blender, suction machine, and had a feeding tube put in. Shower chairs, hospital bed and a Hoyer lift followed. All these are visible reminders as they occupy floor or surface space in the house. All are evidence of the continual decline that is claiming life.
Another evidence of this decline is Dawn's difficulty in maintaining balance. She is finding it increasingly difficult to hold herself erect in a chair. You can imagine the difficulty this presents in even the basic necessities of life.
On a different note, her brother Randy arrived this morning for a few days with her. We are thankful for his presence as well as his ability to help in setting up such things as the eye-reader on the speech machine.
Randy's presence has also enabled Jill the 'free' time to spend about 24 hours with Jake in Minneapolis celebrating his 22nd birthday (Sunday).
Again, we thank you for your prayers, cards, expressions of love and support, as well as the fantastic meals prepared on our behalf. May God bless you today!
We are thankful for this, but one more 'device' sitting in the house is a reminder of the steady decline. We can chart the downward progression by recalling the addition of devices. It began with canes, moved to walkers, then wheelchairs. Dawn needed a speech device. We brought in a food blender, suction machine, and had a feeding tube put in. Shower chairs, hospital bed and a Hoyer lift followed. All these are visible reminders as they occupy floor or surface space in the house. All are evidence of the continual decline that is claiming life.
Another evidence of this decline is Dawn's difficulty in maintaining balance. She is finding it increasingly difficult to hold herself erect in a chair. You can imagine the difficulty this presents in even the basic necessities of life.
On a different note, her brother Randy arrived this morning for a few days with her. We are thankful for his presence as well as his ability to help in setting up such things as the eye-reader on the speech machine.
Randy's presence has also enabled Jill the 'free' time to spend about 24 hours with Jake in Minneapolis celebrating his 22nd birthday (Sunday).
Again, we thank you for your prayers, cards, expressions of love and support, as well as the fantastic meals prepared on our behalf. May God bless you today!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
New Development?
Part of the purpose of this blog was to keep you updated on developments in Dawn's continued struggle with ALS. We have to let you know that the most recent change is not one we ever wanted to have to post.
Last evening and this morning Dawn has been struggling with her breathing. She has struggled with shortness of breath, not being able to get the depth of breath she needs. This has created a significant level of anxiety. Last evening this struggle lasted for more than an hour, and we eventually had to call Hospice. The nurse on call ended up coming out to check Dawn over. Thankfully she finally was able to get some relief at midnight, and seemed to sleep relatively restfully.
However, this morning the problem was experienced again. She also had a slight temperature that caused additional concern.
We do not know what all this means. We continue to monitor this closely, and anticipate knowing a little more after the nurse visits later this week. We continue to value your prayers and thank you for your love and support.
We will try to keep you posted.
Last evening and this morning Dawn has been struggling with her breathing. She has struggled with shortness of breath, not being able to get the depth of breath she needs. This has created a significant level of anxiety. Last evening this struggle lasted for more than an hour, and we eventually had to call Hospice. The nurse on call ended up coming out to check Dawn over. Thankfully she finally was able to get some relief at midnight, and seemed to sleep relatively restfully.
However, this morning the problem was experienced again. She also had a slight temperature that caused additional concern.
We do not know what all this means. We continue to monitor this closely, and anticipate knowing a little more after the nurse visits later this week. We continue to value your prayers and thank you for your love and support.
We will try to keep you posted.
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